‘Real Housewives of Potomac’ star Wendy Osefo on her revealing new memoir

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is opening up like never before.

The Real Housewives of Potomac star released this week, detailing for the first time publicly her childhood experience as a first-generation immigrant, being raised by a single and all the and downs that have led her to where she is today. While Osefo had already shared parts of her life with RHOP viewers over the past two seasons, her new gives her the space to provide more specific insights into her inspiring life’s journey.

For the latest episode of In The Know’s pop culture interview series , Wendy Osefo opened up about writing , which aspects of her life might’ve prepared her for the microscope of Real Housewives, her relationships with various family members and what fans can expect from Season 7 of The Real Housewives of Potomac after .

Listen to In The Know’s full interview with Wendy Osefo below, and keep reading for highlights from the interview:

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On deciding to write : For me, this serves as a form of therapy. It was cathartic. There were times I would break down crying. If anyone gets the audiobook, you will literally hear me reading passages and I’ll be sobbing as I’m reading it. There was one that was so bad that the editor was like, “Let’s do a take two on that one.” I just wanted people to get to know me and get to know the experiences of a first-gen immigrant and get to know the dynamics of motherhood. When we talk about motherhood, it’s always roses and flowers and “it’s ging to change your life and be amazing,” but I’m saying, “Wait. There are two sides of motherhood. There’s motherhood from the lens of you being a mom yourself, but then there’s also motherhood from the lens of you being a to your mom and how that dynamic changes.” I just wanted an honest illustration of how motherhood and the -daughter relationship can be challenging.

On how her close-knit relationships with her mother and sister prepared her for Real Housewives: I will never be that Housewife you hear saying deep, dark secrets to one of the girls. Like, no, that’s not what’s going to happen. With that mentality of depending on my mom and my sister, it gives me a beautiful definition of what friendship really is. I have some amazing girlfriends in my life. They come very close to characteristics of my mom and my sister, but in the same token, I would say, if you flip that on its head, when my mom and sister do things that hurt, those are the moments where I’m like, “Oh, man. I wish I had an outsider who could support me in the ways in which I’m lacking right now.” So, it goes both ways.

On not having a close relationship with her : Since he wasn’t there for my formative years in my childhood, I feel like I don’t necessarily need him in adulthood. It’s almost like with parenting — and I say this as a mom myself — when your kids are younger, they need you. They depend on you and need you for basic necessities. But, when your children get older, yes we may need them, but it’s for different reasons. It’s for emotional support, it’s for friendship, it’s to be the wise sage in the room. Since I’m in my thirties now, I can’t look to someone who’s a complete stranger to occupy that space, because that’s a space that he’s never occupied before. The same way that I can go to him for advice is the same way I can go to Joe Schmo on the street for advice. By all means, I don’t hate him. I spoke to him two weeks ago. I have learned to survive without him, so I’m OK living without him.

On what leads to Mia Thornton’s throwing a drink at her on Season 7 of RHOP: I would tell the viewers to play very close attention to her from the beginning to see if that action matched the words. Spoiler alert: It doesn’t. That’s why, if you pay attention to the trailer, Karen is so relaxed and calm. There was nothing there. If there was something tense, you know Karen: She’s not in the mess. She would’ve probably gotten up and walked away. But you can tell from her demeanor that this is not anything.

Watch In The Know’s full chat with Wendy Osefo below and purchase Tears of My Mother here:

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